I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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