I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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