That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
