He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
