I want to make a zoo with you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize