Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
