is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
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First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.