If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
