Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
