DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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