he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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