I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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