This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize