Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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