Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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