'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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