We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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