it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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