went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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