Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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