Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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