think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
