I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
