Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
