he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
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The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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