we have pet lesbian snakes
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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