maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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