She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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