I think I died a long time ago.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
