so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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