oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
