i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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