Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
