Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
