if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
