Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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