Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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