If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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