OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
