Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
