I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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