HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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