if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
