It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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