Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
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i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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