how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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