Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
and she was petting her beer can
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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