just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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