Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
