Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
