took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
