I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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