Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize