My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
