There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
