As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
