I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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