If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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