I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
