She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
