just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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