For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
